Where's Beric?

I know you're asking yourself:

What's your MOST favorite part about going home for a visit, Kelly?

Is it seeing the peaceful country roads with no cars on them?

Answer: No.

Is it seeing your cousins and their hillariously awesome kids?

Answer: No.

Is it catching up with your old friends?

Answer: No.

Is it stopping at the local liquor establishments for a drink...or seven? (yes...that is me back in my glory days at an 80's Re-Prom)

Answer: No.

Is it FOREVER hearing, "Where's Beric?," rather than, "Kelly!!!!,"?

Answer: Yes.

For all those wondering where Beric is when you see me:

Here he is.

1,2,3 & Caught in Between . . .



They say a picture is worth a thousand words.  Pretty sure this one is worth just two:

SIMON RULES

Moments with My Ma

Well I'm back home and while I've yet to make it to my Ma's house, I would like to share a little tid bit that I've filed under "Moments with My Ma," in the memory bank.  She's still slightly annoyed that we don't live in Florida anymore and she "can't see the ocean."  So I told her that NJ is on the coast too and this is the response I got, "Oh, I know, but it's not the same.  That part of the ocean is more like a lake."

Oh, don't worry...there are more gems from my mother to come.  Including this one:

Ma:  So do you watch that show...Jersey something or other?

Me:  Which one?

Ma:  Oh, I don't know...Jersey something.

Me:  That is not helpful.  There are like fifty shows about NJ.  Jerseylicious?  Real Housewives of NJ? Jersey Shore?

Ma:  Yes.  The one where they sing songs and act snotty.  Does everyone in NJ sing songs and act snotty?

Me:  Are you on something?

Ma:  No.  Why?

Me:  Yes. That is ALL we do in NJ.  Sing songs and act snotty.

Ma:  Oh.  That's nice.

Minny, I'm Comin' Home

Today I will be making a grand return to my homeland.  It is raining in New Jersey.  I'm hoping that Newark Liberty is NOT like Atlanta Hartsfield and shuts down everytime there is a sprinkle.  We shall see. 

In other news, of COURSE there is a pre-teen nerd herd that lurks below my window.  Pre-teens (ages 12-15) are third on my list of things I hate, and well...these pre-teens are SO NERDY.  They pretend to be dinosaurs and Pokeman (real up to date on the newest trends these kids) and swear and talk about hookers and beer.  Like, my embarassment for them almost overtakes my hatred of them.  Almost.

E tells me to relax because they're just kids...to which I say: no.  KIDS pretend to be dinosaurs and Pokeman without also talking about hookers and beer and swearing all the time.  KIDS are cute.  Pre-teens not so much.  These particular pre-teens...even worse.

Anyway, I suppose I can take his advice this one time.  I'll be travelin' through these parts soon:

What Ya Been Doin' K.Si?

About 5 years ago my sweetie and I fled our homeland (MN) in search of warmer weather (FL) and somehow ended up in "the armpit of America" (NJ--it's actually quite nice, however, there is an unpleasant smell that wafts around now and then and also a major road called Rt. 22 that I refer to as The Devil's Playground and also the state of NJ has something against left turns, which contributes to the problem I have with Rt. 22).  Anyway, since we've been gone I haven't been the greatest at keeping family and friends up to date...I always figured if they need to know, they'd find out eventually.  THEN, Alison got all smarty pants and started up her blog and I decided to go ahead and SWF her.  So, now I shall update everyone via blog on my exploits. Read about me if you like or go to Tahiti or knit a sweater for your dog...whatev.

Now to answer the question "What Ya Been Doin' K.Si?"

• Mostly lurking
• Hating Rt. 22
• DIYing "unnecessary stuff"-according to E
• Dodging the stink-eye from Valerie Stella
• Living Room Golf
• Trying to heal my 62 year-old back
• Cleaning Danny Tanner Style
• Texting my super amazing observations to my pal Al

.

SWF - Blog Edition

So my pal Alison had triplets back in February and in January the triplet doctors told her to lay down and rest on a bed until they were born.  To me that sounds like A LOT of fun (in fact, I'm pretty sure I was doing the SAME thing without being told to and without the triplets) but to A-Train, I guess it was boring because she was in a hospital, so she decided to start a blog for family and friends to read about how she and the three buns were doing.  Smart.  Anyway, from then until now I have been reading her blog and it's funny and EVERYONE should read it, and I thought I would start a "companion blog" about my life WITHOUT triplets...because who DOESN'T want to know about that?!? 

Also, I always sometimes like to Single White Female her. 




the triplets and their big brother

my dog-ter Valerie Stella